Camping kids, a slasher and singing abound,
Original killings and a few laughs can be found,
Meat Loaf and Minnie Driver do their best,
To give cred to this bloody songfest,
This horror musical is solid all ‘round.
Glazer mixes Species & Kubrick,
With Scarlett doing an alien Posh Spice schtick,
Hard work with some reward,
Film critics have adored,
This confusing but alluring sci-fi flick.
Mike reports back from SFF again with another cult pick:
A small town is this slow-burner’s setting, For a family whose secret is getting, So much harder to hide, With young lives cast aside, Brace yourself for climactic bloodletting.
Check it out yourself on the 12th of June at the Sydney Film Festival!...
Kurt Russell and the crew are going mad,
It’s freakin cold, and there’s an alien in their pad,
Big trouble in little Arctic,
In this above the par flick,
Film two outta three things ain’t bad.
Something stinks in their trailer,
But their product's no longer a failure,
If they get you alone,
You'll end up blood and bone,
It's Wolf Creek meets Gardening Australia.
In Gilderoy a director does back,
To smash produce.. to produce a soundtrack,
And a plot ending in tangles,
It will confuse long after fading to black.
At first this appears so clichéd,
Five teens in the woods, all afraid,
But there’s more to be seen,
Than tits, ass and a spleen,
It explains why all horror is made.
Part doco, part zombie flick,
Cartoon gore from men zombie-sick,
Harold/Penny endearing,
And laughs I was hearing,
But not my favorite Fest pick.
Burton jumps on the vampire trend, Bringing his wife and good friend, The big cast underused, Though Depp’s lines amused, OK if it weren’t for the end.
...
It’s a sequel that betters the first, So the Christian far right should be cursed, If you didn’t like Saw, Then you won’t like the gore, But, as meta-film, it quenches the thirst.
Spooky ass fairies, what Katie must rid, From a spooky ass basement to save Pearce's kid, The film misses the mark, No scares and no spark, One to avoid - I sure wish I did....
This kidnapping escalates quickly,
With suspense and the blood running thickly,
While the effect is achieved,
Repeats won't be received,
As the result leaves you hollow and sickly.
This killer has time on his side,
With Goodman along for the ride,
A Demon so slippery,
May stay Hobbes’ victory,
The ending will have you wide-eyed.
...
CC posted in this review from MIFF:
This English film started out well,
Camp Crystal Lake used to be a fun place,
Now you're likely to get hacked in the face,
By a psychotic mum,
Getting revenge for her son,
Think she's bad, wait 'til you meet Jase.
...Cheap thrills; weak dialogue & intentionally lame,
With a Brady, a soap star and an 80s pop dame,
Piranhas bigger than a cow.
Tiff; we sure aren't alone now!
A new winner in the so bad it's good game.
It’s been over a decade since the original three,
But Ghostface is back, for the blood of Sid-ney,
The teens may look nicer,
But they’re not any wiser,
Just who will the real killer be?
