Episode 1 - Two Swords
A Dorne Sex God arrives at King’s Landing,
A new sword won’t heal Jaime’s be-handing,
Snow’s back in Black,
Wildlings grow pack,
Arya’s innocence is forever disbanding.
Don't go in expecting Drive,
Because sadly it doesn't arrive,
Scott-Thomas is skanky,
Gosling stares blankly,
Well-crafted but just doesn't thrive.
A more personal journey for Stark,
Black mixing good humour with dark,
A huge character twist,
Will have some fans pissed,
But for fun's sake this film hits the mark.
Both Olympus and Hollywood have fallen, So bad, this will leave you bawlin’, No substance, no style, It’s one steaming pile, Even Freeman and Eckhart are appalling.
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Shakespeare's most beloved play,
Re-told in the modern day,
You'll cry like a dove,
For this forbidden love,
I won't need to give this ending away!
Watch this with a group or a friend,
Because you'll need to discuss at the end,
It's extraordinary,
Disturbing and scary,
What is truth and what is pretend?
A cool factor that'll never out-date, In these stories that all interrelate, Blueberry pancakes, And five-dollar shakes, QT's best? Now there's the debate.
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Recent gangster films are all the same,
And this one's as cliché as the name,
Penn tries too hard for De Niro,
Brolin's a stock-standard hero,
For Gosling and Stone it's a shame.
A feel-good indie with heart,
But Radnor tiptoes cliché and smart,
Olsen’s still on the rise,
Jenkins: tick (no surprise),
Efron wins with an unusual part.
While 'Paris' was clever and insightful, This is more about a family that's frighful, Chris Rock is too plain, The dad's overly insane, Still, New York city is very delightful.
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Bond goes back to his roots,
Aston Martins, martinis and suits,
Craig plays aggressive,
And Bardem's impressive,
As a villain who thinks more than shoots.
This one is probably just for the fans,
Of one of the world's best rock'n'roll bands,
New comments, old clips,
Keith's swagger, Mick's lips,
From the 50 years that their history spans.
Six citizens trapped in warzone Iran,
Until Affleck steps in with a plan,
They make a fake flick,
‘70s fashion, so slick,
As director, Ben proves he’s The Man.
From the man who helmed Uncle Chop,
With a cast that's pretty hard to top,
The underworld in this city,
Is dark, violent and gritty,
All crims and no sign of a cop.
With a script that's penned by Nick Cave, I was hoping to do nothing but rave, But this just plots along, Not gripping nor strong, Hardy sounds like bees in a microwave.
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Gordon-Levitt and Johnson reteam,
Creating a sci-fi lover's wet dream,
Time travel is tricky,
As viewers get picky,
But this blockbuster doesn't lose steam.
Melancholia but not as artistic,
A world’s end that’s almost realistic,
Not all bright and sunny,
But still laugh out loud funny,
Leaves you sad but also optimistic.
110 years without winning a play-off,
And a stressed coach that could use a day off,
Not about sporting teams,
But teenagers with dreams,
"If you keep your head up it’ll pay off".
A Beastie Boy makes his own Hoop Dreams,
Instead of two dudes, it looks at two teams,
Potential Jordans and Shaqs,
Play to sweet hip-hop tracks,
A sport doco with societal themes.
